im gonna fill the hole in my heart with concert tickets and vinyls and acoustic sing alongs and new albums and old albums and good lyrics and bad lyrics and lyrics i want to tattoo across every inch of my skin and harmonies and melodies im gonna inject good music into my fuckin viens
i think the only thing ill ever be proud of is one of my selfies being used as a emo porn site advertisement
THIS WILL NEVER NOT MAKE ME CRY
the “text me when you get home so i know you’re safe” kind of people are the kind of people i wanna be around
giving your first blowjob like
put peanut butter on a pinecone and roll it in bird seed. hang it up outside. wait.
I needed a new toilet seat so I went on ebay and searched for “toilet seat unicorn”
I’m so going to buy it.
I bet yall didn’t believe me
Then how the fuck do you explain this??
Checkmate, you weeabitch.
girl: spank me daddy
me: I am not ready to be a father
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point
where do these white dads come from
we went upstate and my dog was being a butt and trying to swipe at fish in the lake and she fell in and when we dried her off she was still shivering so i put a sweater on her
oh my god